And another....

Here we go again. My second blog for the night! It's ok, I must need to get some things out here. My brother and sister-in-law made it home from Texas safely and surprised us tonight with an early arrival! It was a much needed blessing. This will probably be the last week I'll get to see my brother for a while. He lives in Texas and will be making his second tour to Iraq in April or May. I hate that they live so far away, but truthfully there aren't many jobs around here and no one blamed him when he rejoined the Army full-time. It's who he is now. I'm very proud of him and his accomplishments.

I wrote earlier without much detail as to what has been going on, but again, my step-son seems to get the better of me even when he isn't here. Well, he got his way. He is staying with his grandmother that lives about 20 minutes away...close to where his druggie friends live. That's real good. Really smart for my husband to give in and let him go. His mother is legally blind and doesn't like to stay by herself when her husband is working nights, so my hubby agrees to let him go over there for the 'night.' Hmmm.

The problem I have with that is that although I am married to this man (and obtained two boys at the time I did) I am the one that is with this kid every day and night. He drives a truck and is gone half of the week, yet I have NO say-so in his discipline or what his son is/is not allowed to do. I found out tonight from my daughter that my husband allows his "grounded" son to get on the computer when I am at work and makes him log off as soon as it's time for me to come home. This really burns me up. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I cannot continue to live this way. It's not fair to me.

Each time I try to discuss the 'son' with my husband he either changes the subject, yells about me 'nagging' him aboug the kid, or tells me he's tired of talking about it. When my hubby was young he was one of the wild boys I never in a million years would have dated. Although we went through middle school and high school together, we didn't hang around the same crowds. I was a 'band geek' and he was the wild, pot-head, party boy. Total complete opposites in almost everyway. But we love each other and despite our differences, we try to make it work. The ONLY thing we argue about it the one son of his. That's it. Nothing else.

Now...here I am...blogging to try to sort out my feelings. Trying to decide which road to take at this point. I am too tired to fight. I hurt too much to keep the charade up much longer. It's sucking the life out of me and I'm either going to have to dig in and keep trying, or make the choice for my husband and allow him and his sons to do whatever they want despite the consequences. It's like nothing matters to them. Who gets hurt...nothing. No conscience. I don't understand. I always had respect for my parents and for any adult, really. This kid could care less. He will lie over and over again like it's nothing. He has no regrets at all. He does what he wants no matter who gets hurt as long as it's for his good.

I'm going to go now. My eyes are heavy and I've fretted enough. It's time for Jesus and me to have a talk. He will help me through it. He is the One I can always count on to get me through these times.

Til next time....
Fibro-girl out!